It's Complicated

“hey” …….. “hey ?” …… “anwip ?”……. “hey ?” | “sorry” | “why ?” | “…….”

Complication. between happiness and sadness. between certainty and uncertainty. floating among the things you can't really explain. so here it goes,this is my confession, my awareness. yes, i'm currently having a feeling, a deep feeling, for someone out there. And yes, i've been hanging around with him for quiet a long time. but this is something, just something i can't have. complication, like i said before.

have you ever been in a situation where you know something is clearly there, but something preclude you to have that certain thing. in my status, the hindrance is the status of me and him. how the status of me and him make everything between us become something that we can't have anymore. sucks isn't it ? i used to think that my relationship with him will going smoothly. well actually, it is, and it still is.

maybe it's just me. maybe i care too much bout each other's status. maybe i care too much about what people says. or maybe i just care too much about people's judgement for him. i just can't take the risk to contaminate his good name. i can't even think what'll other people says to him.

too many complications that happens between me and him. and that's what makes me think of us, twice, thrice, over and over again. maybe it's just me... how i over-think everything... even something that haven't happened yet. maybe it's just me... i just don't want to trigger a bad image for him.

should i stop wondering ? should i continue what've happened between me and him ? should i ? or shouldn't i ? it is just too scary.... i like him. i do. i do. but i do care bout his reputation. i do care bout the gap between me and him. i do. i hate it. I hate it when i need to do something for myself, something necessary to do, for my own goods but i still need to care bout people's opinion.

so here it goes, i usually put advice in my post. here it goes... to all lovers out there. if you really truly love your partner. take a risk. ignore people's judgement. go forward. who knows what will happen in the future ? if it worth fighting for, then it's worth risking for. i love him. and that's why i want to take this risk. i do care about each other's reputation. i do. but sometimes, people's judgements aren't always right. ignore them. they'll judge you anyway. just because your love is controversial. doesn't mean you need to give up your love. just because a minority doesn't support you, doesn't mean that you need to stop fight. fight, love, care, that's the recipes for love.

p.s: although i didn't mention any advice in this post and though i just complaining and telling my confusion instead. mind to re-read this post while listening to 'Fall For You' ? :)