Thursday, July 5, 2012

Drafted

I actually have wrote this couple weeks ago, but somehow, i've never gotten the guts to click the publish button. So here i am, encouraging myself to tell you my problems. Enjoy ?
"you lose some, win some" | "but if you never win ? Isnt't it some kind of God ways to tell you that you're suck at it ?" | "honey, no winners were build easily. They work hard and intense. Maybe, you haven't worked as hard as them."
It makes me think. When you've given your best, try every single ways, do everything you can, sacrifices all the things you have, but stil.... You can't achieve your dream. Me, my dream is to at least once becoming a winner, even the best speaker if that possible. But then again, i've gave deabte several chance. I've joint 4 competitions, but still, my greatest achievement is just until the semi final. I've never won, or maybe never will. Because, you know, when you give it a chance for several times, but still, you're not even improving and your achievement keeps faliing down. Doesn' it makes you think that you're sucks at it ? Doesn't it makes you think that you weren't really born to do that and you know... It's totally better for you to quit then to keep moving forward but in the end, you just gonna get disappointed because all you get in the future are going to be the exact same like your achievement today ? So yes, that makes me thinking. And although my fellow debaters keep motivating me not to quit debate, it still hurts.
"tell me 3 strong reason why i should keep debating" | "1) you're good at it 2) you're passionate at it 3) only losers quit" | "but sometimes, being good and passionate is not enouh. And yes, i'm a loser, my so far achievement can guarantee you that"
Okay, so all of them was in my draft. But earlier today, i was in the highway leaving to Bandung for a choir competition. And i saw this interesting flower at its referee. What's interesting about this flower is that it keeps alive while the other flower has died because of what we know by nature elimination. It lives under a circumstances where it should be dead by now. Pollution, dry, sun, no water, and so where we think it's impossible for a plant to do its job to blossom. But this certain flower keeps alive and even blossomed the most beautiful flower i've ever seen. So yes, this flower story inspired to keep moving forward. To somehow survive when no one give a damn, to rise beautifully, to reach my goal. To finally got the attention from those who never give a damn before, because in the end they'll realize that i'm not who i was before. I've found my own way to survive and rise.

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